what it feels like to be a little fish

What It Feels Like To Be A Little Fish

Pom Pom Island and The Celebes Sea, Borneo.

We spent a week on the island. Isolated from the rest of the world and surrounded by a crystal clear underwater jungle.

I am born and bred in Australia, so my love of the ocean is unquestionable. It is engrained into my genetics, like being able to curl your tongue or having a crooked finger identical to your mothers. It’s apart of who I am.  It calms my mind and rebalances my energy, but also, it scares the shit out of me.  I have a fear of the sea that I like to pretend isn’t there. Unfortunately it insists on hanging around. Sitting on my shoulder, whispering sweet doubt into my ear every time my head sinks under the water’s surface.  I know that with every Yin there is a Yang but this one really squeezes me in the gut. So in an attempt to conquer my aquatic anxieties, I dive.

I’m no master diver. I’ve only completed around 25 dives and experienced a panic attack underwater around about the 20th one. A rather traumatising experience considering I was 18 meters under, couldn’t catch my breath and had to ascend in an orderly fashion to avoid getting “the bends.” Luckily there was a giant Green Turtle that excited me more then not being able to breath, so back down I went. I’m painting myself to be a bit of a stress pot but I am quite the opposite, which is why I need to set things straight and come to peace with the sea. I’m not quite there yet but I’m working on it.

This is what I was able to capture when I just told my brain to shush for a second, and let me experience what it feels like to be a little fish…

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